Time for another edition of “What Lies Did They Make Up About Me Today?”
1. According to the ever-reliable “Reveal Magazine” (had you heard of it before?), my trendsetter days are limited. “Katie has been returning unsolicited gifts and loans from designers for Suri since she arrived in New York. She’s issued instructions to remove Suri from all freebie lists. Tom loved to spoil Suri and indulge her, but Katie has other ideas.” I think it’s so cute that people thought Tom was stocking my closet. While the man does love a good pump, do you think a guy who clings to every spare quarter-inch he’s got would be buying heels for anyone who’s going to stand near him ever? People, I have my own American Express black card. Don’t worry.
2. The Daily News is reporting that Tom and I were involved in a high-speed chase with the paparazzi trailing us. This has been vastly overblown. Really, we were just sitting in a car while he sang the “Mission: Impossible” theme and “drummed” on the headrest. Insufferable.
3. Katie is returning to Broadway in a play called Dead Accounts, playing “a fairly unglamorous character.” This is true, and it is hilarious. Only you call it a play, and I call it EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE.